Little Deaths

Since becoming a Christian, one my deepest desires has been to die a martyr's death. I've dreamed and prayed about the moment that a gun is held to my head and I'm asked to deny Christ. This may stem from a strange fascination with death but I always have wanted to die for Christ. He gave His life for me, I wanted to give it back for Him. I've read through the Jesus Freak books by DC Talk, Foxes' Book of Martyrs and basically memorized the story of Polycarp. I am obsessed with the idea of people dying for something they believe it. It's a mighty powerful thing.

With the calling to go into overseas missions, I still believe the possibility is there to die for my faith. But, living in America, the risk of death for being a Christian is very small. I was thinking about persecutions in other countries and the blessings we have in our country when I was reminded (several times!) through Bible reading and thoughts being brought to mind, that, though I may never face a martyr's death, God has called me to die for Him daily.

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Galatians 2:20

"For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."

Colossians 3:30

"When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it."

Mark 8:35-36

Again, my mind was blown. All of a sudden I was faced with the reality that I am to die continuously. I died initially when I became a Christian and since that point I've been asked to have a continual dying to self and living for Christ. We may not ever have a gun pointed to our head but we should die little deaths every day for the sake of the Cross. The little deaths can be anything from feeling left out, to being alone on a Friday night, to not having as many friends because of what we believe, or even being tired because we woke up early/went to bed late spending time with God. (I once heard a guy describe how ridiculous it sounds to "Make time for God". He said "How can we make time for the One that. made. time." I realized that all my time should always be for Him. I mean, after all, He did make time!) They also could be not getting into a relationship because you know it wouldn't be pleasing to God. Or avoiding that movie. Or not reading that book. It can be anything.The deaths range in severity, but they are what God has called us to do.

I was convicted that I didn't have to die a Martyr's death. Every day I can make that decision to die to myself and life for Christ. He may not ask me to lay down my life but He will ask me to lay down a lot of other things. And all of them will be my little deaths for Him.