How do you eat an elephant?

I have been so slack at writing lately. 2014 has proved to be crazy and has left me struggling to budget it all. But hey, I'm so thankful for another year! 2013 was eventful in so many different ways. I graduated school, traveled around on my last hurrah for about a month, moved back home, got a new job (God, again, always working things out), became a licensed insurance agent, bought a car and began a definite new chapter in my life.

I would like to say that I do change well, but I don't. Belgium, even though I loved almost every second of it, nearly killed my body. I internalize things without realizing it. Then my chest hurts and I'm stressed for no reason. It's one of the many things that I need to work on. I have had to learn a lot and process a lot in the last couple of months. It has actually been overwhelming at times.

But, I've had two thoughts running constantly through my head:

1) God

2) How do I eat an elephant?

Let me address the first point. This year I am trying to read the Bible straight through. From Genesis to Revelation. I read through the Bible chronologically a couple of years ago and really enjoyed it. This year I decided to from the first page to the last. One thing that has continually blown my mind is how amazing God is. He sent plagues over Egypt, healed the blind,  parted the Red Sea, walked on water and conquered death. I was thinking about how amazing God is and then it hit me. The same God who parted the Sea, slayed giants and calmed the stormy sea is the same God I pray to everyday. The same God who cares for me. I was humbled. How powerful is my God!? He hasn't changed. It tells us in Hebrews 13:8 that "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday, today, and forever." What a promise! What a testimony. I've been drawing comfort from the fact that the God who looks after me hasn't changed from the time he helped David slay Goliath, Peter walk on water, brought the widow of Nain's son back to life and eventually conquered death and sin when He spread His arms and took the nails for me. The power and love that did all those things is mine and, with that, what can I fear? What can be done to me? I thank God He showed Himself to me in such a way.

(So I know this isn't an elephant but it's the closest picture I had to an African animal. Giraffes are really fun to feed. Very cool experience at a zoo in Michigan!) 

My last semester of school was very stressful for me. As a Senior in my Spring semester, I wasn't alone. One time I was stressing out and my dad asked me "Krissy, how do you eat an elephant?" I was stressed and didn't see how this conversation would help me get any work done. I responded "I don't eat elephants!" To which my dad asked the same question. I didn't respond. He told me "One bite at a time. Krissy, you can't eat the entire elephant if you try to eat it in one sitting. You must take it one bite at a time." And from that moment on, every time I am overwhelmed by all I have to do, I hear "One bite at a time". I have an elephant ring for the soul purpose of reminding me that the elephant will kill me if I try to eat it all at once! All I can do is one bite at a time.

So how will I get through life? The power of my amazing my God and taking it all just one. bite. at. a. time.

Don't be a Jonah

A friend and I were talking about God's workings in our lives. I was explaining to him how I didn't expect to back in the city I grew up in. I thought God had other plans for me (preferably oversees). But God put me here. And it was somehow through that conversation that we came up with the motto "Don't be a Jonah". And it has stuck. I found a whale necklace from my childhood and began wearing that as a constant remember to not be a Jonah.

Don't get me wrong; I have had many a Jonah moments and God has shown me, like He did Jonah, the error of my way. But I love our motto and I love my reminder. God sometimes calls us to places and people where we really don't want to be or be with. But guess what, it all works out for His glory. I didn't want to come back but God shows me continually that He has plans for me here. He may want me here for a year, a couple of years or the rest of my life. All I have to do is wake up each morning and determine in my mind and heart that I will serve the Lord, regardless of what or who comes that day.

All of this is easier said than done, of course, but I draw comfort from the fact that God uses us even when we don't do His will. I was reading through the book of Jonah the other day when I realized that God used Jonah even when he was on the boat fleeing from God. All of the men on the boat worshiped God after they realized that it was Jonah's God who controlled the waters and made them both storm and stop. I thought to myself "huh, God used Jonah even when he was refusing to do what God wanted him to do." Those men on the boat believed in the One True God because of Jonah's fleeing. Had he not been there, they probably never would have seen the Lord's power. It is comforting to realize that the Lord will still use me when I screw up or have my Jonah moments.

So...don't be a Jonah (but remember that God uses us even then)!

All the Time

God is good.

All the Time!

All the time.

God is good!

I love saying this. Because you know what? God is so good! I could sing His praises all day long. But do I still praise Him when bad things happen?

Anyone who knows me right now knows how obsessed I am with Corrie Ten Boom. I am struck time and time again by her faith and just giving up her life and fully allowing God to take over. I want to be like her. I was listening to a radio theater about her and the man introducing her said he had visited her at her beautiful house in Holland. He looked at her and said "Corrie, God has been very good to you!" She frowned and (chiding him) said "God was still good when Betsie (her sister) died."

That got me thinking. I didn't think "God is good" on my worst days, only when things were going well. But I know in my heart that He is always good, I just don't thank Him as much as I should when things don't go my way. It's like when I was on the phone with my friend and, as she prayed, she thanked God for answering my prayer about Macedonia. I was indignant! Why are we thanking Him when He said no!? I praised Him for His will being done in my life but I didn't even think of thanking Him for giving me the answer I didn't want. But in the process of thanking Him for His answer, she convicted me.

And praise God for working in hearts! As I sat in my state exam for insurance licensing, I thought I might fail. One of the first thoughts that came to my mind was, God is still good, regardless of how this goes. And it has brought me a deeper understanding of my Savior. I'm so thankful for Him teaching me!

So I'll say, regardless of the situation, God is good!! All the time.

All the time.

Dear Krissy

There is something so special about a hand-written letter. The thought, time and heart all put into a little piece of paper just makes my heart burst! I can't tell you how much opening the mail box and seeing a familiar  hand-writing means to me. Here are some of the hand-writings that have stolen my heart. I wanted to share the happiness :)

I was so blessed when I was abroad to have a book with letters from loved ones at home (some of letters are in this post). Though I loved letters before, this affirmed my love for mail! These pictures aren't to brag about how many family/friends I have but rather to encourage taking that time to write that thought, seal it with a stamp and touch a life! We live such short lives, why not tell people how we really feel? Why not send a letter for them to reopen on a bad day and feel your love stretching from the past and reminding them of the present love?

 Let's just say I cried with that letter.

Brother's work such magic

My Dad's favorite saying: "I miss you, but my aim is getting better."

Little Deaths

Since becoming a Christian, one my deepest desires has been to die a martyr's death. I've dreamed and prayed about the moment that a gun is held to my head and I'm asked to deny Christ. This may stem from a strange fascination with death but I always have wanted to die for Christ. He gave His life for me, I wanted to give it back for Him. I've read through the Jesus Freak books by DC Talk, Foxes' Book of Martyrs and basically memorized the story of Polycarp. I am obsessed with the idea of people dying for something they believe it. It's a mighty powerful thing.

With the calling to go into overseas missions, I still believe the possibility is there to die for my faith. But, living in America, the risk of death for being a Christian is very small. I was thinking about persecutions in other countries and the blessings we have in our country when I was reminded (several times!) through Bible reading and thoughts being brought to mind, that, though I may never face a martyr's death, God has called me to die for Him daily.

"I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me."

Galatians 2:20

"For you died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God."

Colossians 3:30

"When He had called the people to Himself, with His disciples also, He said to them, "Whoever desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake and the gospel's will save it."

Mark 8:35-36

Again, my mind was blown. All of a sudden I was faced with the reality that I am to die continuously. I died initially when I became a Christian and since that point I've been asked to have a continual dying to self and living for Christ. We may not ever have a gun pointed to our head but we should die little deaths every day for the sake of the Cross. The little deaths can be anything from feeling left out, to being alone on a Friday night, to not having as many friends because of what we believe, or even being tired because we woke up early/went to bed late spending time with God. (I once heard a guy describe how ridiculous it sounds to "Make time for God". He said "How can we make time for the One that. made. time." I realized that all my time should always be for Him. I mean, after all, He did make time!) They also could be not getting into a relationship because you know it wouldn't be pleasing to God. Or avoiding that movie. Or not reading that book. It can be anything.The deaths range in severity, but they are what God has called us to do.

I was convicted that I didn't have to die a Martyr's death. Every day I can make that decision to die to myself and life for Christ. He may not ask me to lay down my life but He will ask me to lay down a lot of other things. And all of them will be my little deaths for Him.

Sunshine!

I didn't think that juggling a 9-5 job would be difficult with the way my life is right now. But it is. I'm tired. I am going to bed early. What is wrong with me!? I so appreciate those who go to work everyday. College did not prepare me for this. I got to take naps, stay up late, talk as much as I wanted. What exactly were they training me for anyway? :)

But I'll sure one of my birthday presents with you: a new bike! One I've always wanted. It has a wicker basket and I just bought a bell! Complete with a matching helmet. I'm in love.

I love riding it to work every morning and looking out across the river and appreciating the beautiful view God gives me each morning. I do not have a car right now so this works just fine. It is quite difficult to explain to people why I don't have a car. I realize, now, that it is definitely a privilege to drive. Insurance, repairs, gas; It's all expensive! Working this insurance business has made me very very thankful. I didn't even realize how blessed I was that my parent's have paid my insurance. More blessings to add to the list!

There is sunshine in my soul today,

More glorious and bright

Than glows in any earthly sky,

For Jesus is my Light

O there's sunshine, blessed sunshine,

When the peaceful, happy moments roll;

When Jesus shows His smiling face,

There is sunshine in the soul.

There is sunshine in my soul today,

For Jesus is my light.

My beautiful Momma

A dream come true!

I'll take it!

The day after I wrote my last blog entry I received a phone call offering me a job. I almost started to cry as God, yet again, showed how much He would take care of me.

I spent the spring and summer applying and praying. But mostly waiting. When people asked me how the job search was going I would say "It's going". When, in reality, I wanted to say "I'm waiting on God. I've trusted this to Him and He hasn't failed me yet, so...why would He now?" The Bible shows God, time and time again, being faithful to His people.

We often quote Jeremiah 29:11: "For I now the thoughts that I think toward you, says the Lord, thoughts of peace and not of evil, to give you a future and a hope." But do you know what it says after that? I didn't for a long time and, it was when I continued reading, that I understood the magnitude of this verse.

"Then you will call upon Me and go and pray to Me, and I will listen to you. And you will seek Me find Me, when you search for Me with all your heart. I will be found by you, says the Lord."

It is such a promise that, if we search for Him, we will find Him. If we pray, He will listen. So I have felt like I was doing trust falls all summer. I would worry and sometimes I would give it up to Him and other times I would try to take care of things myself. I was not letting "the peace of God" (Philippians 4:7) guard my heart. So He brought me through, teaching, loving and making the way way straight. Always putting in my mind the promise that "we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose." (Romans 8:28).

Today was my first day on the job, working for an insurance company. Though this is not where I thought I would be (cue Proverbs 16:9) but there is where I need to be. I'll be able to live at home, volunteer in my community and pay off my loans. And I know that it is all part of the path God is leading me on.  I'm excited to see where God leads, cause I already gave it all to Him nine years ago when I became a Christian. But I'm nervous and kind of worried (still, why? I don't know) about this new adjustment. Change is hard and full of so many uncertainties and, let me tell you, I like my certainties. Here goes another trust fall...

"Unless the Lord builds the house, They labor in vain who build it' Unless the Lord guards the city, The watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, To sit up late, To eat the bread of sorrows; For so He gives His beloved sleep." 

Psalms 127:1-2