One of the first phrases I learned when I arrived in this tiny country was "Hello, my name is Krissy. I am lost." We would joke about my awful french and the one phrase I knew. However, my french has drastically gotten better!!! But I am still lost....
I can't tell you how many times I have gotten lost here. It has become a normal feeling. I expect any journey to take longer than what people say... because I will get lost. Normally I enjoy getting lost because you get to see such beautiful things when you are scouring the streets for a sign. I went to an amazing city, Bruges, last weekend and it was perfect. The medieval looking city was completely cobblestone with a canal running down the middle of it. Our boat tour on the canal topped off an already amazing day. I have gone on walks around my neighborhood purposely trying to get lost, and it is enjoyable. However, last night as I tried to get somewhere downtown I got lost and cried. It was the first time I cried since getting here (I shed tears before, but not a serious cry). I was trying to get to a bible study based off of my own memory and let's just say it resulted in me wandering downtown for two hours. I was upset because I couldn't make it to the bible study but I was also upset because it got dark, people got creepy and I was alone. A car full of guys stopped right in front of me and one guy leaned out and said "Hey babe, kiss me." I didn't even look at the car and it still stopped. A couple of choice words came to my mind but I realized it would have made the situation worse. So with that kind warning of the people who were coming out I hopped on the metro and took my twenty minute commute home. I figured no one would care if I cried so I sat on an isolated seat and I cried. I feel bad for the guy who ended up standing across from me the entire time. There was plenty of room everywhere else but he just stood there. Maybe he thought his presence was comforting, I don't know.
One thing that I do not like about this country is the contradiction of eye contact. Apparently over here you do not look people in the face unless you know them. Due to the fact that there are so many people crammed into a small country, one must maintain other people's privacy by not looking them in the eyes. So, whereas I am used to smiling at people, here I try but I often get blank stares or strange looks. When it comes to looking at men, I keep my eyes down because apparently they get ideas if you look at them. Here is my complaint: if I can't even look people in the eyes (to "keep" their privacy) then why can guys be extremely creepy towards me?! Is that not invading my privacy when they follow me, stare at me and look me up in down like a piece of meat?! I do not provoke the attention with scandalous clothing or bold looks and yet I still get harassed. I seriously hate it. I'm sure it is like this in every big city but since this is my first time in a big city, I couldn't tell you one way or the other.
This creepiness factor has led me to be wary even of nice people. I just don't know! If a guy smiles at me, I basically assume he is a creep (but a lot has to do with the eyes when the person smiles at you....in their eyes I can usually tell what they are thinking). Today I was walking home and this van drove right up next to me and a guy jumped out! He had bright clothes on and, as he came up behind me with a black bag, I prepared to fight. He was the public garbage man. He looked back at me (must have seen my petrified face) and said something in french with a smile. Probably like "Don't worry, I'm only checking the garbage cans." I laughed at myself after that. It is not like I walk around in constant fear (and I am almost always with someone) but it frustrates me that, because I am a woman, I have to be more careful and vigilant. All well, God protects me. "The angel of the Lord encamps all around those who fear Him, And delivers
them." Psalms 34:7
One thing I do enjoy (trying to stay positive, every experience has its ups and downs!) is the cultural differences I experience every day. I go to school at a small college within a bigger university. The college is 1/3 study abroad students and they rest are full time students from everywhere in the world. I have study abroad friends and full-time student friends. One thing they do is the "kiss". You see someone, you peck them on the cheek. I can't do it! I have tried and have failed every time. It doesn't help that I just don't see it coming. Instead of someone tapping you on the shoulder, you are getting a head right next to yours and you don't even expect it! Then there is the question of "do you actually kiss them on the cheek?" or "Do you do the air peck with your cheek against theirs?" I haven't perfected yet. I actually dread seeing some people (they are wonderful people) because I know that, when I greet them, I am going to make a full of myself once again. One of my friends was saying goodbye to me for the weekend (we work the same internship) and she had been coughing all day. She still wanted to do the kiss thing! (now I am sick...I wonder why.) So, yet again, I did it wrong. I'm trying. It is not that I don't want to say hello in an intimate manner, but I'm just not used to kissing everyone on the check when I see them! I had lunch with one of the Italian interns and her friend. (ps this is where I get to work and eat lunch http://www.google.be/imgres?q=arc+de+triomphe+brussels+belgium&hl=nl&sa=X&biw=1366&bih=617&tbm=isch&prmd=imvns&tbnid=CjQzhSnsuiirdM:&imgrefurl=http://photos.tarunchandel.com/2010/07/arc-de-triomphe-brussels-belgium.html&docid=xdn9o4T-zMZxQM&w=800&h=541&ei=A4uETtXhAoqF-waG1uBC&zoom=1) When he said goodbye to me he blew me a kiss. My other friend does the same thing every time we say good bye. It's not romantic at all. Just they way people communicate here.
At my internship I am the only american. Lunch usually consists of a Mexican woman, a Scottish woman, an Irish man, a Scottish man, a Romanian man and a few Italians. I love it :) As I was standing with one of my coworkers at the elevator we were talking about my birthday and how old I was. I told her my birthday was at the end of August and I was 21 (all the interns are in their late twenties so I am the youngest by at least five years). My friend then asked if I was a virgin. I gave her a confused look (my thoughts were "Is this an Italian thing!? We met like two days ago!") She asked again and then saw my confused look. After an awkward couple of seconds we both realized that she was asking if I was a virgo. I guess in Italian it is the same word. Cultural confusion on that one for sure :)
My host mom asked me if I wanted to go to a choir rehearsal and, though I wasn't feeling it, I went and actually enjoyed myself. The people there were considerably older but they were from all over the states and Europe. I am trying to expose myself to as much culture as I can here so I am glad she invited me....and that I went. We will be doing Christmas concerts in December :)
The last couple of days have been stressful for me so this morning I sat and watched Tenth Avenue North's music journals. Tenth Avenue North is an amazing christian band that sings songs straight from the heart (to God and from God). Here is one that I just wanted to share. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XNpw-kCUEtk&feature=relmfu I pray that you realize today that God is Strong Enough to Save.
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