Sometimes I feel a bit sacrilegious because I don't put much stock into holidays. Christmas? Yes, that is important. Easter? Of course! But I feel that these are events that God wishes us to remember more than once a year. The holidays give us an amazing opportunity to reflect upon everything that has been done for us, but if the holidays are the only times we reflect, then we're missing some of God's blessings in our lives.
We have always celebrated Easter at my house but we were always reminded that we celebrates Christ's life, death and resurrection every Sunday when we partake of Communion. With the cracker we are reminded of the body that was broken for us and with the grape juice we consider the pure blood that did away with all other sacrifices. Every week I am reminded of what God has done for me. Throughout the week I am reminded (though I wish I reminded myself more!) of how God looked down and loved me. He saw me before I was even born, knowing everything that I would do and yet, he still loved me.
This year I thought more about what the disciples were going through. I was eating dinner Saturday night and said "If I was a disciple when Jesus died, this would be the worst night of my life." My dad responded that Friday night, at the crucifixion, would have been the worst night of their lives. Hurt, lost and confused, the disciples left Jesus alone to bear the weight of the world. I try to imagine what they must have gone through and it makes me feel sick. They didn't understand that Jesus was coming back! They were confused as to what kingdom he was bringing to this earth. Wasn't he supposed to be king? And rule over all the world? How could he do that if he was just hung on a cross? To imagine the despair they were feeling, oh. I remember sitting at camp in a class for the high school students. We were reading through the scenes of Jesus' betrayal and trial and though I had heard/read it numerous times since I was born, I felt like I was hearing this part for the first time: "But Peter said, "Man, I do not know what you are saying!" Immediately, while he was still speaking, the rooster crowed. And the Lord turned and looked at Peter. Then Peter remembered the word of the Lord, how He had said to him, "Before the rooster crows, you will deny Me three times." So Peter went out and wept bitterly." Luke 22:60-62. Matthew and Mark do not mention Jesus' turning towards Peter. I vividly remember sitting there, hearing that part and chills going through my body (as they are right now). What was the look on His face? The feeling in Peter's heart? I would have wanted to kill myself. To see your best friend's eyes and know that you have betrayed him.
Peter felt what we have all done. What I have done. I betrayed Him. I was that voice in the crowd yelling "Crucify Him!", I was that soldier with the whip, and I put the nail in His hand. Yet, He forgave and loved and saved. When I get to Heaven, I want to feel the holes in His Hands and the piercing in His side, but most importantly I want to look into the eyes that showed love, pain, disappointment, joy, anger and forgiveness while He walked the earth. His beautiful eyes that penetrate the soul and bring Heaven into the hearts of man.
So this last Sunday, this next Sunday and all the ones after that (with the days in between!) I'll remember the worst day in history where everything seemed lost... not knowing that Sunday was coming, bringing about the best thing to happen to man: Jesus' resurrection.
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