Let the traveling begin!

This past weekend I began my "Five weekends away from Brussels" by spending a night in a Abbey and visiting a castle. It was a much needed weekend full of relaxation and reflection. I have been partially adopted by Julia's program and it has been amazing. Six of us (plus the program director and her husband) piled into a van, drove to the Netherlands to visit a museum famous for its Van Gogh collection, piled back into the van and were dropped off at the Tongerlo Abbey. Each of us had our own room in this beautiful Abbey from the 1100s. After getting situated and having a simple dinner, one of the brothers took us to see the second oldest replica of The Last Supper. As we followed the brother to the garage looking building, one of my friends whispered to me that this was all a ploy and that we were getting sold into slavery. For a second it was a little scary because the brother was having "difficulty" opening the door and when he finally did there was this black screen and the lights were off. However, despite my trying to make everything a mystery or adventure, we were just shown the painting. They have strong evidence supporting that Da Vinci painted the Christ in the painting so I was excited when the brother let us go beyond the barrier and get a picture with the painting.

The entire Abbey had a majestic feeling to it. I easily let my mind wander to dark corridors, hidden tunnels and mysteries yet solved. This was only exaggerated by, in the middle of giving us a talk on the Last Supper, the brother's phone off. I don't know where he pulled it out of but as he answered "Hello Gabriel!" I couldn't help but laugh...what, did he have a direct line to God?! Who was going to call next, Michael?! The six of us enjoyed a dialogue on religion (we all have different views) and then headed to bed around midnight. One of the guys kindly reminded me to be careful if I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night because one of the brothers might show up right behind me in the dark corridor. That thought couldn't be erased as I tip toed down the long hall way. But I survived and enjoyed a time of quiet. I needed the "retreat" and I am so thankful that I got to spend it with my closest friends here :)

Here are my travel plans for the next five weeks:
-this past weekend was spent in the Netherlands and the South of Belgium
-this Saturday I leave for Paris with my class and will not return until Tuesday night
-the next day, Wednesday, I board a flight to Ireland. I will be spending my fall break visiting my dear friend Chrissy as she studies abroad in Galway.
-I fly back from Ireland the next Tuesday.
-One day of classes
-Then I leave Thursday morning (at six o clock because I didn't consider military time when I booked it... I have learned my lesson) to go to London! A missionary friend of the family, Alan Marshal, told me back in July when he and his family visited my church that I was more than welcome to come visit. The last time I saw him was back home so it will be nice to see a memory of home when he picks me up at the bus stop :)
-After being in London for four days I will come back, go to school for a week and then go to Amsterdam for the weekend with my class.

Somehow I am supposed to get work done. I'm not sure how that is supposed to happen....but it will get done, it always does :) I feel like I'll arrive home in December and say "what just happened?!". It's also really hard to concentrate on getting work done when I am very over school. I want to move on and travel to Africa and Cambodia. I actually just found my dream job. I'm emailing them just to get information and Lord willing, they will be a part of my future. The name is Agape International Missions and they work with rescuing girls from sex-trafficking. They rescue, rehabilitate and love in the name of Jesus. I couldn't imagine a better organization to work for. Check them out!  http://agapewebsite.org/

I'm also creating a bucket list of what I want to do with my life and so far it is; to get my pilot's license (that way I can do this traveling on my own), learn how to play the piano, become a yoga instructor, possibly get my nursing license (people always need nurses), work in an orphanage, live in at least five different countries for an extended period of time, become fluent in two modern languages and..... that is probably a good list for now.

Last night I was able to make it to Bible study downtown in the house of a couple at the church. It is the reason why I love Wednesdays. There was fourteen of us last night and all from different countries and backgrounds. We eat dinner (which is always delicious), fellowship and have a small study. Last night I realized that this room of people would be what I miss most when I go home. They are true examples of showing God's love. They are my family here.

We read one of my favorite stories of Jesus. I love every story about Him, of course. But this is my favorite because it just shows how awesome He is and how pathetic we, as humans, are. The passage is found in Mark 4:35-41:

One the same day, when evening had come, He said to them, "Let us cross over to the other side." Now when they had left the multitude, they took Him along in the boast as He was. And other little boats were also with Him. And a great windstorm arose, and the waves beat into the boat, so that it was already filling. But He was in the stern, asleep on a pillow. And they awoke Him and said to Him, "Teacher, do You not care that we are perishing?" Then He arose and rebuked the wind, and said to the sea, "Peace, be still!" And the wind ceased and there was a great calm. But He said to them "Why are you so fearful? How is it that you have no faith?" And they feared exceedingly, and said to one another, "Who can this be, that even the wind and the sea obey Him!"

I love this passage because I feel like I would be just the disciples. Actually...no, I would have been freaking out more. I also think that Jesus was laughing a little bit. He was sleeping because He knew what was going to happen. He was probably laying in the stern, listening to them run around on the deck yelling at each other (Peter was probably saying some fitting words here; either about how they were all going to die or they had nothing to fear, Jesus was near) and smiling to Himself when He heard their footsteps down the stairs thinking "I'm going to blow their minds." I have no idea if that is how it happened but I think it could have happened that way.
How many times do I go through the storms in my life running around and asking "Teacher, do You not care that I am perishing?!" Meanwhile, God already knew the struggle that was going to happen in my life and already provided me a way through it or out of it. He already knew how to calm the storm before I even saw the first rain drop. Every time I hear this passage I am reminded of how great a God I have and how I need to realize that each moment of every day. That way I wouldn't be afraid of the storm, I would be safe in the stern resting with my Savior.

Those who go down to the sea ships, Who do business on great waters, They see the works of the Lord, and His wonders in the deep. For He commands and raises the stormy wind. Which lifts up the waves of the sea. They mount up to the heavens, They go down again to the depths; Their soul melts because of trouble. They reel to and fro, and stagger like a drunken man, And are at their wit's end. Then they cry out to the Lord in their trouble, And He brings them out of their distresses. He calms the storm. So that its waves are still. Then they are glad because they are quiet; So He guides them to their desired haven. Oh, that men would give thanks to the Lord for His goodness, And for His wonderful works to the children of men! Let them exalt Him also in the assembly of the people, And praise Him in the company of the elders.

          Psalm 107:23-32

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lIRk5bebycI

Because he is "Strong enough to save."

The Book

I was beyond excited to go abroad. A really prayed over decision was about to come into fruition as I boarded the plane back in August. My summer was too busy for me to worry about going abroad. I had a business to run, parties to plan, camp to work, a wedding to be a part of and all the logistics of going abroad to do. I pushed away the sinking feeling of leaving the only place I called home and concentrated on all I had to do. The tears didn't come until I stood in the airport with my parents and twin brother. Then it all hit me. I wouldn't see the people that I loved the most in the world for four months. Four months, in the course of a lifetime, is not a lot of time but when you live an hour and a half away from college and have frequent visits from some member of the family (extended or core or adopted, yes I would consider my friends my adopted family)....being without these people seems very daunting. As I was preparing to board my flight my mom handed me a beautiful book (see above picture). 

The inside cover read: 

To Krissy Beth Stoner

August 22nd, 2011

From 

Many who love you!

I opened the first page to read this note:

"Dearest Krissy, By the time you read this you should be on a plane on your way to your next adventure: Belgium! :) Compiled in this book are communion thoughts and messages from family and friends to encourage you while you are so far away. Remember that God is with you wherever you go and He made this wonderful world you are about to explore so there are no surprised to Him. We will be praying for you every day and looking forward to your return. We know you will have plenty of stories so try and write as many as you can in this book so we will be able to hear them all. Enjoy this great experience you are about to have. Just remember to keep God first in all of your decisions and choices and you can't go wrong. Much Love, Su Madre. Love you! Dad"

The tears continued.

As I boarded the plane and sat next to my friend Kristen (what a pleasant surprise that was!) I opened the book curious as to what exactly was inside of it. My mind was blown. Without my knowing, my mom and sister got my book to my friends at college, friends from home, dear brothers and sisters from camp and my family from all over the states. Inside the days were written out giving a page for each day I would be away. Each date had a note (or two!) from someone back home. There were drawings from my little cousins, pictures of happy memories, inside jokes, and so many heart-felt and uplifting letters. I looked through all of it once on the plane (I didn't read all of it, just glanced through) and then made a promise to myself that I would take it one day at a time and be surprised who wrote me.

So every night before I go to bed, I open my treasured keep sake and read my note for the day. It is seriously like opening a present and having it be that person, sitting right next to me on my bed and talking to me. I want to return the favor so I flip over the page and write my stories from that day. I insert ticket stubs, candy wrappers, hair (there is a lock of hair from when my host mom cut it. I'm documenting everything. Judge me if you want :), and anything that I can fit into the book. 

It is my most treasured possession here. I would rather have my passport and money stolen rather than this book. I take it with me on my travels, writing it all down. I have another journal that keeps my more personal thoughts in it so that when I get home and someone asks me how my journey was I'll just hand them my book. 

Each time I turn the page I feel a little sad because I realize that with each page turn, my adventure here is slowly ending. I have never physically "turned the pages" on my life and this just reminds me how short life is and how I really need to treasure it. Each day I'm alive is something special given to me.

I'm blessed beyond belief. This book is just one of the evidences to support that verdict. I will treasure it always and I can't wait to show future generations. This book is my testament here in Belgium. It is a testament to God. A testament of how God has worked and continues to work everything out for His glory. I'm looking forward to looking back at it and saying "God was leading me to this when that happened" or "He really taught me to trust Him on that day in September".

I could go on for days about this book and how, regardless of how great or awful the day is, I always end it with a loved one. Thank you.

"I thank my God upon every remembrance of you..." Philippians 1:3

Halfway Home

Ahhhh, halfway done! I would like to ask where the time has gone but I know exactly where it went. It went right into my memory box; to be treasured, pondered and cherished. Yes, that is where my time has gone.

I am a big proponent of self-reflection. It is something that I have tried to develop in the last couple of years and I think it is very important in any person's life, at any point in their life. I try to take a step back and see why I am doing something, or how I have grown from an experience, or even to discover what I have learned in the last year, month, day, or hour. I'm going to do that now to ensure that the next two months here are the most fulfilling they can be. Ready? Let's go...

Highlights so far from this Abroad Experience:
       -Celebrating my 21st birthday at the top of the Eiffel Tower with my roommate, (and soon to be known as my best friend/travel buddy/God-sent gift) Julia, and looking out into the city with the wind blowing in my hair and feeling completely happy.
        -Meeting Owl City and having such a big part of my summer/home singing and worshiping here in Belgium.
        -Walking at night, along the Rhine with the lights reflecting off of the water and the Cathedral beckoning us with its beauty. When we arrived, it did not disappoint as the candle light vigil gave our night a time of reflection and peace.
         -A much needed night spent in Antwerp with good food and good people.
         -The church soccer tournament near Antwerp. We won the championship and I had an amazing time getting to know my brothers and sisters that I had never met before :)

Though these highlights were amazing, they were moments written into my calendar... Now let me tell you what I love about here :)

-I love my house; the four flights of stairs, the feather blanket, the wood stove, the huge windows and my family. I love the times I can share with Marc, Barbara, Sebastian, Jasper and Kiki. I love the game nights, the singing in their room with them, the "highs" and "lows" of the day, the "hi Krissy" from Sebastian when I walk in the door and the music lessons from Jasper. I love going to choir with Barbara and the random long conversations we get into. I love my roommates and how I can be comfortable in my own room and count on them.

- I love my church family here. I love the warm smiles and hugs when I walk in the door, the sincere emails asking how I am doing, and the lunch dates I go on. I love that I can go anywhere and automatically have friends in Christ. There isn't any awkward middle ground; just the knowledge that we are already friends :)

-I love the walk to my internship and the beautiful landscape of the city I get to see. I love my quiet time on the 45 minute walk and the prayer list that runs through my mind (yes, I pray for you!).

-I love the close friendships I have made here. I'm so grateful for the time I get to spend with people here. It has been on my mind lately that every moment of time spent with someone is a gift from them. They could choose to be with anyone else, doing anything else, but  yet they choose to spend time with me and give me a little of their life. It means a lot. Spending time with people is one of the most valuable gifts I could ask for. I'm so thankful for all the "gifts" I have been given these last two months.

-I love the Speculoos. It is seriously a drug. Please try it. I beg you. (In the US it is called biscoff spread). Sometimes I wonder what my food life was like before I tried this delectable invention.

-I love the diversity I get to experience on a daily basis.

-I love the accordion player that serenades the morning commuters on the metro.

-I love bringing my french/english bible (with my name engraved on it) to the bilingual church service; I feel like I can fool people into thinking I know french.

-I love learning this beautiful yet difficult language called french and practicing it any chance I get :)

-I love my skype dates, every single one of them.

-I love the letters that I get/brought with me to open on certain dates. I love looking through the pile of mail and recognizing familiar handwriting; filling my heart with a child-like happiness.

-I love my book. (I will elaborate more on this in a separate post since it is that amazing).

-I love my cheezy friendship things that were given to me so that every time I look in the mirror or at my key ring or on my shelf, I feel loved.

What have I learned (surely there has been much learning....just maybe not in the classroom!)

-To not make eye contact with guys in public. They won't think that your unassuming smile is just to brighten their day and share the love of Jesus. Nope. They will either think you are weird or sweet on them.

-When crossing the street walk either with an elderly woman or a big guy. Before crossing the street (the drivers are crazy here) I first look at the size of the car and gauge how much it would hurt to get hit. If the car is small I walk out into the street and pray it stops. If the car is large then I wait till an elderly woman comes by or a big guy. Then I walk almost too close to them. This is in case we get hit. I have deducted that if I were to get hit, the driver would probably not notice the slender american getting hit like a bug on his windshield. He would, however, notice hitting a big guy. There would be a dent and as the driver got of the car to look I would then be discovered too. An elderly woman automatically calls everyone's attention so the likely hood of getting hit with her is very slim. This is what I have learned about the roads here. I refuse to die over something like not paying attention to the road. I would much rather die doing something productive or enjoyable.
-That I do not want to sit at a computer for the rest of my life. I enjoy my internship but I refuse to do that for a career. I would prefer working with people out in the field rather than sitting at a computer feeling my muscles decompose (this is just personal, I really respect people who work at computers....I just could never do it).
-That people really do care and will be there when you need them. It is so easy to believe that sometimes no one cares, but since being over here and getting sick while having a couple of other things going on I have learned that there are a lot of good people in the world that would do anything for me.
-I have learned french :)
-I have learned how good God is to me and how I will never deserve how truly wonderful He is. He has blessed me in so many ways. If I were to describe all of them to you....I wouldn't ever stop.
-I have learned to fully rely on God. Being alone in a foreign country with everything new really gives a new perspective to life.
-That it is okay to get lost....again.....and again.
-I have learned to use public transport.
-I have gained a better understanding that I really can do what I want to do. Anything is just a plane ride away.
-Sometimes I will just look stupid but in the end it will be worth it....or provide a good story.
-That just because one is abroad, does not mean one changes bad academic habits.
-That I'll never be as fashionable as these Europeans.
-That Europeans are quite frank with their dislike of each other.
-A smile and a thumbs up are universal.

I have had some bad days here but they have helped me appreciate the good ones. I have cried, I have laughed, I have been scared, I have felt blessed, I have been frustrated, I have felt overwhelmed with gratitude, I have been stressed, I have been thankful, I have been hurt, I have been upset, I have been loved, and so much more.

The next two months are bringing me many adventures and I'm excited to see what comes. It is like the beginning of a new year. I always get so excited thinking about what I will do, who will I meet and how my life will be changed. I know this is the middle of my experience here, but can't it also be another beginning? Like each day? (oh I'm so cheezy. I get it from my mom).

I am sincerely so excited to discover what awaits me

Wait....it's midterms already?! Shouldn't I have been...uh....studying?

At the end of every paper that  caused me to pull an all nighter, at the end of every test that I wished I had studied more for, and at the end of every assignment that I refused to do until the very last minute, I have made a promise to myself. Never again. I REFUSE to stay up all night doing another paper ever again. I will use my time wisely, plan ahead and be prepared.

Lies.

Lying is something I have never really struggled with because I'm very transparent. I either love something or hate something, I either want to or I don't, I am either telling the truth or lying. I couldn't lie without it showing in every fiber of my being and searing my conscience. I can picture it now; the unusual amounts of uhs, the avoidance of eye contact, the scratching of the head and the reddening of the face. I just can't do it (and it is not right to do either). But, I have lied to myself many times in the promise of "never pulling an academic all-nighter" (all-nighters are welcomed, especially with the bestest kinds of friends). I must be a liar. I just do it every. single. time. Do you feel my frustration!? First all nighter I ever pulled was in my senior year of high school. I must have liked it because I haven't stopped since! What was it, a drug? Try it once and you are hooked. I also do this really obnoxious thing of stressing out and then not doing the work because I was too busy stressing out to do the work (does that even make sense?). I would call my parents, cry to them about how I had this paper to write and I hadn't started it because I was too busy, etc. My parents, at this point, just roll their eyes and tell me I'll be fine.

You know what? They are right.

I don't know why things seem to work out, even when I screw everything up with my "genius" ideas. I seriously believe that God has around ten angels keeping watch on me. Seriously, how many times have I almost gotten hit by a car or wasn't paying attention and almost severely hurt myself? How many times am I worried about something and it is already worked out (or eventually works for the better)?

Over the summer I was able to spend a lot of quality time with my friends; dirt and mulch. We became very close. Oh yes, and the sun hung out with us occasionally; leaving my lower back bright red when I hadn't realized that my precious skin (which had never seen the sun before) was exposed upon kneeling down. My brothers affectionately called it my cranberry muffin top. We became so close because I ran my own landscaping/dog watching/house cleaning/whatever you need done business. My dad was my manager (because he is the best dad any girl could ask for) and my twin brother was my employee. I was the boss of the business, my dad was the manager and Josiah was the reluctant helper. I enjoyed it when two of my favorite men accompanied me to work, but some days I was by myself. It was those days that I would spend the day working, talking to God, listening to music and thinking about life. I think God used those summer days to draw me closer to Him. I would worry about something, give it to Him and then I was filled with a trust that I really couldn't describe to you. You want to know what I love?

That, despite my failures, God loves me. He LOVES me! Who am I that he should even think of me and yet, he loves me. I have this peace knowing that whatever happens; either good or bad, big or small, He knew it was going to happen in advance and already had it taken care of. I love it.


I'm not perfect. I'm actually quite far from it. I still worry, I still doubt as to the reason why things happen. But God uses everything to show me who He really is.

I can barely get work done when I am back in the states because I enjoy being with people for more than almost anything else. Last year,this time in the semester, I had a ten page midterm paper due for one of my classes. What did I do instead? I went to a Bible study with one of my friends. I enjoyed it then asked the group of above forty year olds to pray for me because I had a long night ahead of me. They sent me off with their prayers and homemade cookies and back to campus we went. I accepted my fate, asked my friend if he would pray for me and away I went to spend a night with International Law. I finished it, even slept a bit and received a good grade. See, God works things out for me.

Fast forward to 2011 in Brussels. Nothing has changed! I really think I missed something when I signed up for study abroad. Have I studied? My french, yes. Anything else? No. Too busy enjoying this wonderful dream of being abroad. Something called midterms rudely awoke me from my dream when I realized that I was going to be tested and I actually needed to know what I was talking about. This isn't a good excuse but I have been sick for the last two weeks so my already low motivation has decreased even more. Last night as Kristen, Julia and I studied for our Art History, I just laid down on the floor in pain thinking to myself "I really should have paid attention during the presentations on all of our trips." The studying continued despite my lamenting and today was the big day of two midterms.

It is a growing experience not having a phone here. Whereas I would have called my mom and dad crying about how I was going to fail, no phone=no calling home freaking out. I did talk to my mom on skype a couple of days ago and she prayed with me, but yesterday I made no calls home freaking out. I know I'm twenty one and, on the outside, appear to be very well composed but deep down inside I am still that youngest child that is trying to become a woman after God's own heart. My parents have helped me so much in becoming who I am today (please meet my parents if you haven't yet) and today showed me that I could survive (without a call home) and rely on the one who knows the number of the hairs on my head.

Jesus knows me this I love.

"The good news is....you aren't going to die anytime soon."

I am determined to experience every aspect of the Belgium world over here. The food, the people, the postal system, the garbage system, the eco-friendly system of doing everything, the public transport and, of course, the health system.

I  haven't been feeling well for quite some time and it got worse last Thursday. Nothing too serious, just severe pain through my abdomen and stuff. So, after it getting really bad, I decided to go to the doctor. I "scheduled" it online and prepared to go through whatever they do in offices here in Belgium.

I went into the building and was filled with a little dread as I saw the two doors that led into the examination rooms. I'm not a fan of hospitals in general, but I usually survive. But as I sat there and contemplated my impending doom all I could think of were experiments, lime green surgical rooms and dutch speaking doctors. My thoughts were interrupted by the receptionist telling me that I didn't have an appointment. I told him I didn't know what I was doing because the entire website was in Dutch. He laughed and agreed that they should fix that. Eventually a young doctor came to the door and ushered me in. Thankfully there was a nurse with him and they both seemed nice enough (thoughts of experiments slowly disappearing) so I opened up and relayed all my woes. Both of them examined me, half in english and half in dutch. As the doctor was examining my stomach I told him "Every time you touch me, I want to throw up." He knew how I meant it but he immediately jumped back and had a hurt expression on his face, like I had insulted him. Because I was feeling so sick I immediately felt awful and tried to explain what I meant. He smiled, pleased at himself for his little joke. Great, now I have a doctor who thinks he is a comedian!

After the million questions, examination and whispers of dutch, the doctor looked at me, smiled and said 'The good thing is, you aren't going to die anytime soon." Jubilation. Was I worried about dying!?! NO! Anyway, he said it was probably mono (he said it with an accent so it took five minutes for me to figure out what in the world he was saying....finally got it when he said "kissing disease") and put me on pain medicine. He threw in a couple more jokes and sent me on my way.

Two days later I ended up going to another doctor (on the insistence of my french professor, we are very close) and he was from South America. More cultural differences. He was like "What is your name? Krissssy? Crazzzzy? Crazzzy Krissssy?" Great, another comedian. His conclusion: "You have no dad here, no friends from home, everything is brand new. Your body is adjusting." Well, it was better than a really awful diagnosis but I was just surprised because I haven't been stressed. I miss home, yes, but I'm having a great time here and quite enjoying myself. Apparently my body is taking all these new things differently. But, as my South American doctor kept saying "No worries, no worries, you fine."

Thankfully the health care is very good. The doctors are good (and apparently think it is there job to make you laugh) and the cost is very low. Without insurance, I ended up paying around twenty Euros (30 dollars) for my appointment. And the medicine was also very cheap. If I'm to get sick, I'm glad it was in a place with good health care!

Being sick does have its perks, I must confess. Besides feeling like death, getting dizzy and smacking your head first thing in the morning, there are some positives. You really get to see how much people care for you. My co-workers at my internship have been wonderful to me. Asking me how I am, if I needed someone to take me home, if I needed anything at all, they were there. Friends at school were constantly asking how I was doing (because I can never hide any feeling. I'm slightly dramatic also....so if I am sick, I don't keep it a secret, though I don't go along griping, I'm just honest), my professor taking me to the doctor, my host family giving me some strange potion and my roommate staying in on a Friday night with me. She brought home snacks and encouraged me as I had to drink the worse concoction from the doctor. Another friend came over and we watched a movie.

Yes, it stinks getting sick but God is so good, regardless. I did feel like it was going to be something bad but reading my bible is a comfort. As I opened my bible earlier this week, a verse stuck out because I had highlighted it years ago in red pencil."And He said to me "My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness." Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ's sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Corinthians 12:9-10

Now if you will excuse me, I must go drink a jelloy, mandarin tasting concoction. Cheers :)