the one for whom Christ died

Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died. Romans 14:15

Loving people is what Jesus did best. Every breath He breathed, every word He spoke and every deed He did was to love. His great and enduring love was made manifest to the world when, while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Romans 5:8

But this love is an all-consuming love meant to alter our very existence. Or rather, fulfill it. God calls us to show this world (the one He created) His unconditional love. Each day He calls us to love in the way He did. He loved in the big things but He also loved in the little things. Never did an opportunity pass Him by where He didn't show the person love.

With this conviction I have tried to be Jesus to the world. With the words of my mouth and the works of my hands and every breath that I breathe I try to be Him. Because I am human that is impossible but He only asks that we try. However, it is possible to do good deeds without love for the person. It is possible to serve food at the food pantry without loving the people. I have been guilty of doing good things not to "show Jesus" but for my own personal gratification. God has been working in my heart to truly love people that drive me crazy. I don't know how long He has been working on this but He keeps showing up in different ways to guide my heart.

I find it easy to love people that love me. I think everyone does. But to love someone that is really annoying? That keeps wronging you? That won't forgive or give forgiveness to you? That slanders? That just drives you CRAZY? He calls us to love them. Why? Because that rude boy that cut you off this morning is the one for whom Christ died. Every person we encounter is precious in God's sight. He loves them. He sent His son for them! Who are we to not love them when Christ loved us?

It is humbling to think about people in this regard. In relationships, in job-settings, on the metro, at the park, all of our interactions with people should be dictated by the thought that Jesus values their hearts so much to die for them. That person. That heart. He loved and died for. It needs to be cared for in the way that He would care for it. Because you, me, and that person we need to pray extra for are the ones for whom Christ died for.

Why I'm single (and happy)

Disclaimer: I'm not bitter about my singleness or the (sometimes strange) questions I am asked. I am not about to bash the love-struck people that surround me daily. I don't speak on behalf of any other singles other than myself. I'm speaking from MY heart.

I have heard this question a lot: "Why are you still single?" Mostly the questions come from well-meaning, older relatives that got married while they were still teenagers. But still, it is a question that I have lately begun to ask myself and, by searching out God's answer to my question, this is my response:

Please do not ask me why I am single, ask God. I gave my life, my heart and my soul to him eight years ago and I trust that His will will be done in my life. He had a plan for my life before I was even born. "Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they all were written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them." Psalm 136:16. He has not shown me this book where my days were written, but I know that He knows my days, and that is all I really need to know. (Did you follow all those knows?)

So with this thought in mind (regarding every area of my life), I go about each day seeking His plan and seeking to glorify Him in my actions, words and thoughts. I am not perfect and I mess up, but He already knew/knows this and still loved(s) me....still sent His son for me. So each day I see as the unraveling of His plan. I go when He says go and I stay when He says stay. To be quite honest, I do not know if getting married is in His plan. Maybe it is, Maybe it is not. Paul never married and this allowed him to devote everything to the cause of Christ. Listen to his view: "But I want you to be without care. he who is unmarried cares for the things of the Lord--how he may please the Lord. Burt he who is married cares about the things of the world--how he may please his wife. There is a difference between a wife and a virgin. The unmarried woman cares about the things of the lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world--how she may please her husband." 1 Corinthians 7:32-34. There is nothing wrong with someone if they are called to a life of singleness. They are the ones that can leave on  a minute's notice for any cause without trying to figure out who will watch kids or if their husband/wife can get off of work. God calls us all to different lives and different plans. His will is perfect and pleasing (Romans 12:2) and regardless of what we do, it will be accomplished.

I also have faith that God delights in His children and he likes to see them happy! He likes us to delight ourselves in Him but I think He also likes to delight in us. He enjoys our happiness and is happy when we are happy! If He knew there was someone out there who would make me happy (while drawing me closer to Him), why wouldn't He send him? I think sometimes we have this picture of God as being this judgmental, lightning-throwing, far-reaching being that we only come to when we have done something bad. Guess again. Though he is a jealous God that will judge us for our actions, He is a loving God. He sent His son! His perfect, One and Only son. If that isn't love, then what is?? "Trust in the Lord, and do good; Dwell in the land, and feed on His faithfulness. Delight yourself also in the Lord, and He shall give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord, Trust also in Him, and He shall bring it to pass." Psalm 37:3-5. The desire of my heart is Him. And I trust that He will bring the smaller desires of my heart into fruition (as long as they fit with His plan).

It is funny to think that the man I (might) marry is alive today. Living his life, having his struggles, becoming the man God wants him to become. I was talking to a friend about our mutual singleness and what she said still sticks with me. "I really feel like I am ready to start dating and maybe get married. But then I think about it and maybe the man I'm going to be with is not ready. I may be, but the timing right now would not be best for him." Woah, what a thought. I might be single right now because my future husband is not ready to meet me/date me. God's perfect timing, right?

I don't know if I have met the man I'm going to spend the rest of my life with. I don't know if I'll every meet him. I don't know if I'll meet him tomorrow or in ten years. We could be friends for years and then something will change and we'll get married. Or I'll meet him and he'll approach me with the best/cheesiest Christian pick-up line and it will literally be love at first sight. The possibilities are quite endless :)

I am not single because I have unrealistic expectations of how a man should act and "No one I meet is good enough". Nope. I have facts. I know real men that exist. They love God, they love people and they are sweethearts. They are family members and dear friends. They are people brought into my life to show me that no, my standards are not too high. They fill these standards and show me what an amazing Christian friendship looks like. They pray with me. They hear my struggles and they laugh. They go out of their way to help me out or make my day. Unless God has called all of the (single) men I know to singleness, I can deduct that they will someday get married. (I read a blog that really opened my eyes to this). The way I treat them now, in our friendship, could affect their future marriages. If he develops "feelings" towards me that I do not reciprocate and approaches me with these, then the way I respond could affect his future "feeling sharing". If I shut him down coldly then he will be less likely to trust his heart out. This is not proven or even fact, but it does make sense. These Christian men in my life are most importantly my brothers in Christ. Our responsibility to each other is to encourage and strengthen the most important relationship in life; ours with Christ. If our actions and words are not causing strengthening, then they are causing weakening. I have to remind myself that these men are my dear brothers with hearts that Christ died for. My job, as their sister, is to encourage them and provide a friendship/relationship in which they feel safe from the pressures and the many struggles they face out in the world.

So I am single because:

• A man is not in God's plan for me today. Maybe tomorrow. Maybe never. My contentment is not based on what happens, but a mindset. My mindset is on Him.
• The man I am going to marry is not ready for us to be together. God is working other things in his life right now.
• The men God has placed in my life reaffirm my standards. I know they are human and plausible standards!
• I'm already in love with Someone who completes me and will send someone only if he will draw me closer to my first love.
• God has other things for me to do at this point. He has other ministries and opportunities for me that I may not do if I was in a relationship.
• God is forming me into the woman He wants me to be. And the woman he needs me to be.

I am confident that "The Lord will perfect that which concerns me..." Psalm 138:8 and right now I am happy and content falling in love with Him every day. I am His Beloved and He is mine.

Michigan summed up...in pictures

I'm back home in NY and, of course, filled with conflicting feelings. I had a home and Family in Michigan that I loved. But, I'm blessed to have a family here in NY. I spent hours with 30 plus people at a lake cottage catching up and enjoying beautiful upstate. So enough about me complaining about my many blessings.... Let me sum up Michigan and the wonderful five weeks there:

I got my pearl. To me, as I wear this pearl, it represents the tears of thousands of women, but more importantly the tears of my Father who hears them. He hears them in their distress (as he hears me) and He sees every tear that they cry. He cries for them. His heart breaks for them an He, in turn, breaks hearts to help these women and literally be His arms of protection, comfort and love. To be His hands of Healing and the drying of tears. To be Jesus with skin on. Pearls are not formed through an easy life. They are attacked by a parasite over and over again yet, through the pressure and strain, they are formed into these beautiful pearls. They survive the nightmare, become pearls of a great price and sought after diligently. 

I slept here every night. In a cloud. Enough said :)

I fell in love with this little girl...

Our favorite band is One Direction and we would watch their videos every day. And dance to them.

I went bowling with my blessing of a friend, Emily, her sister, Leah, and my suite mate/fellow family member/friend, Sarah. We had to buy socks there. It was a good investment.

All of us. 

My place, right before the sprinklers got us. I'm sure it was a nice show for the cars driving by!

I got a picture with the president of the organization, Becky McDonald. I want to be her when I grow up. Or now, whatever works. Such an amazing and godly woman!!

This is her blog: Becky McDonald

I got to fly a four person plane! Emily's brother in law is a pilot and offered to take us up. Who knew he would give me the controls and let me fly! Next step: getting my own pilot's license. I am quite serious about this.

The ultimate dashboard shot: in an airplane!!!

I was adopted by the Youngs, a beautiful family that loves both God and each other with all their hearts. I became one of them while I was there. They prayed with me before I left and just uplifted my heart every time I was with them. We celebrated the 4th with a mile walk through the woods to Lake Michigan.

Her friendship is a gift God! He knew what He was doing when he placed me in her office that allowed the door to be shut so we could talk without being reprimanded (I got her in trouble only once for talking and that was during inventory). It was in that small office we opened our hearts to each other and talked about God, our family, lessons learned, blessings, trials and everything in between (I may have through in a couple of Christian pick up lines just to see her laugh). She became my closest friend at WAR.

And for some reason I cannot add any more photos but I will just have to dedicate a post to my host family. God blessed me with them too. I thought I would have to live in the basement on a cot. Boy was I wrong. And who would have thought that I would become such close friends with them?! I was so pleasantly pleasantly surprised and grateful for the relationships I formed with my "host dad", "host mom" and two adorable "host sisters".