The Progression of Love

One day at the end of my Junior year of high school I went on a car ride with my brother Caleb and my Mom. They wouldn't tell me where we were going, only that it was a surprise. We stopped at house near my  high school and I got out, still confused. When I walked into the house there were about eight puppies running around. One of them, if I chose, could be mine forever.

This is what I chose :)

Could you say no to this face?!

She supported her mommy's soccer

I wanted a dog that cuddled. She slept with me until she was too big for the two of us to sleep in one bed.

She loves Josiah

I had been jealous of Caleb since he got a dog when I was in 6th grade. I wanted a dog. Patience. They told me that Khloe was a dascund. I think they lied. She is more like a beagle mixed with a basset. A long face and a personality of a hunter. She can typically be found sleeping or begging for butter. 

Every day I came home from school, I couldn't wait to open her crate and have her waddle out. I would get a prick my heart when I saw my baby. I picked up after her, I fed her, I took her out, she slept with me, she was mine.

I have watched other people's dogs grow older and my love for them has decreased. They were no longer the cute puppy I fell in love with. I love dogs, but puppies are one of my favorite things. As Khloe grew older and got a nose, my love for her only increased. We worried that she was a little bit slower because of her mannerism. We discovered that it was all a ploy. If she wanted to sit by my dad and my mom was in the way, she would bark at my mom (her way of saying she has to go out) and my mom would get up and go in the other kitchen. Khloe would jump up on my dad's lap, victorious.

Reading the newspaper with Dad

She has had some rough days...

You may wonder why I am talking about my dog. I miss her. I miss so many things about home but I can't skype with my dog. My dad puts the camera on her when I skype home, but doesn't see me. Every time I come home from college, Khloe freaks out. She gets this whine going and she jumps up and keeps licking my face. I'm looking forward to seeing her after four months of being away. I can't wait for our walks and cuddling. They didn't tell me that when you go abroad, you will miss your baby more than anyone could understand. I figured that much but still... Everyone who has a dog knows that they will always love you. I don't care if Khloe legitimately flunked dog training because she was too "stubborn", she gets excited every time she sees me. She doesn't judge what I'm wearing or the silly things I do. Loyal and loving. A ball full of love wrapped in smelly dog fur :)

If I ever have children, I can't imagine how much I will love them. I mean, I love this dog of mine so much. I raised her. I worked so she could get eye surgery. I have cleaned up more than enough messes during training and have been woken up more than enough in the middle of the night to tend to her. I can literally feel my love her. It's the special relationship between a dog and her owner.

I went from seeing her, choosing her, and taking her home, completely in love.

If I can love a dog this much, the love in my heart for a child seems unfathomable. I would love to adopt when the time is right. I already see my heart breaking for the orphans in Africa when I go there. I'll see them, choose them, take them home and fall completely in love. 

Human love seems so inadequate when I compare it to my own adoption. I was like a puppy, needing someone to take care of me but still fighting to do my own thing. But, praise God, He held out for me. On July 4th, 2011, I decided to sign the adoption papers and become a daughter of the King of Kings. Before I was born, He was in love with me. (Psalms 139:13-14). He knew the number of my days. He knew how stubborn and selfish I would be and yet, He still waited. I knew He was there waiting for me but I knew that once I made the decision to become His, there was no turning back.

How could I ever go back?

I'm so thankful that God waited for me and received me with open arms. It is indescribable how He has changed me. He knew me in my mother's womb and guided me as I grew up, waiting for the day I would return His love and follow Him. Since becoming His forever, my love as progressed. I came to Him knowing that I needed Him, and I still do. But He took this life of mine and holds it securely in the palm of His hand. I don't know why He takes care of me or even loves me. He sent His son to die for me, this sinner full of imperfections. Before Him, my definition of love was rather superficial but now, regardless of anything in this life, His love will be my strong tower and foundation. Nothing will ever compare.

"But when the fullness of the time had come, God sent forth His Son, born of a woman, born under the law, to redeem those who were under the law, that we might receive the adoption as sons [daughters]. And because you are sons, God has sent forth the Spirit of His Son into your hearts, crying out, "Abba, Father!" Therefore you are no longer a slave but a son [daughter], and if a son [daughter], then an heir of God through Christ." 

Galatians 4:4